Parenting In the Digital Age

This article was written in January and published by Valley of the Moon Magazine in February, before the COVID-19 outbreak. I feel that this information is more relevant than ever as many children are now tasked with managing their school lives using technologies such as Google Meet, Google Hangout, Zoom, and FaceTime, not to mention receiving and responding to emails and other messaging. Students also have more time on their hands than ever before. And for parents, we now have our children at home AND are finding ourselves responsible for homeschooling as well! This can be an overwhelming time for all of us. So how will we, as parents, respond to the demands?

As a former teacher, parent to three children, and parent educator, I have lots to share that I believe will help your family life run smoother. If you would like some tips and tools around working with your student/s; structuring your day, suggestions for capitalizing on your child’s strengths and helping them manage their screen time, and support as you manage the transition from parent to “teacher”, please reach out to me. I am here to support you and remind you that you are not alone in this. Despite what it may feel like, this too shall pass. So what do you want to look back on and remember?

I’m confident that with a little time carved out just for you at the start of the day, and someone to support you, you’ll feel more relaxed and better prepared to rise to the challenge and dare I say, opportunity that lies before us! Read on…. https://vommag.com/tech/

Valley of the Moon Magazine February 2020

In 2001, as I held my first baby in my arms, doting on her tiny fingers and the way they tightly wrapped around my own, I never imagined that one day those same fingers would be tapping on keys the size of baby fingers, opening the world to her with the push of a button and creating a dynamic shift in the way we parent.

According to the latest research by Influence Central, a child, on average, gets his or her first smartphone at 10.3 years old. That same study shows that by age 12, a full 50 percent of children have social media accounts.

As someone who supports parents as they raise their children, the most common challenge I hear relates to the topic of media and phones. Setting and maintaining reasonable boundaries and having lots of dialogue around technology are now fundamental parts of parenting. 

The landscape for raising children in the digital age is changing rapidly and our kids need support, even if they think they don’t. Lessons taught around online safety at younger ages still require much more attuned communication as kids move into their middle school years. It’s up to us as parents and teachers to guide them as they develop the skills they will need to be resourceful, creative, kind, and intelligent digital citizens. Just as we teach reading literacy, so must we address digital literacy.

As Deborah Heitner writes in her book, Screenwise,“The number of kids who can produce as well as consume content has risen dramatically. This is an important change––it is one thing to operate the clicker and choose your own TV programs or choose your online content, but it is quite another thing to be able to create your own content and share it.”

You don’t need a PhD in social media or gaming to connect and help guide your child. They need us—their parents and teachers—to show up and remind them that we have their best interests at heart, and that we’re here to help with the difficult task of managing the demands of being online.

Talking with teens about their online lives gives them a chance to notice the ridiculousness of counting ‘likes’ or following someone they don’t

know or who poses to perfection. Kids are going to keep exploring and if we don’t stay curious about their experiences, we can’t offer them the opportunity to reflect and fully understand the content they are consuming or creating. And you can be sure, kids actually long for help, knowledge, and direction when it comes to finding balance and truth in their online world.

We live in a beautiful community with thousands of caring, connected parents. The more open conversations we can have with other parents in our circles, the better prepared we are to meet the needs of this generation of kids we are raising. It is very important, and this is not only with our children but with regard to other parents as well, that our interest comes from a place of openness and genuine interest to help. Simply sharing the message, “Sometimes I am overwhelmed by all this technology. Where do I start with rules and communication? How do you guys do it?”—is a great invitation to an open and honest conversation.

Finally, parents can communicate the values and behaviors that they think are important, but if we as adults are not adhering to our own advice – using the phone at the dinner table, sleeping with the phone charging next to our bed, or constantly posting photos of our children on our own social media – then our kids (who have a keen nose for hypocrisy) may feel some resentment. It is the way we live as adults that conveys the real message to our children about what we believe in and the values we hold and want to pass on to them.

This is the parenting mantra: “My role is to Mentor and Mirror rather than Monitor.”